Updated: Jan 3, 2022
Why are you reading this? According to Google, there are more than 600 MILLION FUCKING BLOGS in existence in 2021. Man alive, I actually feel guilty about contributing another. With that much content available, why would you invest your valuable time in this particular site?
Before getting into that, let me say thank you for choosing to read this first post. I am truly grateful. Please feel welcomed to comment. My great hope is that this forum will become an interactive community that benefits every person who chooses to spend some time here - not just through the content I provide, but through interactions and engagement in the comments. Okay, back to the big question. Why read this blog? I hope to answer that by letting you know a little bit about myself and what I hope to offer through this endeavor.
So, who the fuck am I? I have no idea. I can certainly tell you about the things I do and the things I've done. I can also articulate some of my personal values and beliefs, and the processes by which I evaluate them. Perhaps the best way to illustrate this hodgepodge of circumstances I call my life is through this little experiment. I will present two different versions of myself. You try to guess which one is true:
Version 1: I am a 48-year-old father of two with a master's degree and PhD in psychology. For seven years, I served as an officer in the U.S. Air Force, working as an active duty psychologist, flight commander, and psychological consultant to the general officers at two different bases. I have published multiple articles and book chapters for both, academic journals and popular media. I have presented at more than 15 professional conferences and run a podcast focused on posttraumatic growth and achieving goals.
Version 2: Originally from New Jersey (hence all the cursing), I am a tattooed, unemployed 48-year-old member of a biker organization. Historically a terrible student, I got through primary school and college by the skin of my fucking teeth. I love music, especially heavy metal and hip hop and have been to 13 Ozzfests. I am divorced. At almost 50-years-old, I am about to begin an Associate's degree in culinary arts and have plans to open a food truck in the near future. A self-proclaimed minimalist, I live with my partner who loves to collect "stuff."
Which one is true? Trick question, motherfuckers. They're both true!!! Seem impossible? You should try living it.
My intent with this blog is to scrutinize the repeating patterns in my life, my career, my relationships and sort out in an authentic, vulnerable way, how I keep finding myself in the same fucked up situations despite my best efforts to do things differently. I'll try to figure out what the hell it is that I am supposed to learn so that I can interrupt these patterns and treat myself to a fresh, different kick in the nuts. I will also share my current situations as they unfold so you can all track my progress (or lack thereof through this process).
If you continue to read, you will see that while I hold vulnerability and authenticity in the highest regard, I often suck at them, preferring to hide behind a sarcastic combination of intellect and humor. You'll also see that I badly want to be a spiritual being at peace with himself who has great faith in his intuition and wisdom, but who is an over-analyzer with a doctoral level education in research methods and data analysis and is very much trapped in his own head.
Okay, so that's a bit of who I am and what I plan to do here. Question 2; Why should you care? Two reasons:
Reason 1: For what you might gain. In the past half century, I have made so many mistakes, so many...and spent way too long overanalyzing every single one. Perhaps, by sharing my errors, my successes and my insights, I might empower you to make more effective choices than I have (If you want to impress me, try making worse ones). At the very least, it should be entertaining.
Reason 2: For the ways that you might benefit others (including me). By sharing your experiences, thoughts, and reactions to these posts in the comments and being a part of this community, you have the potential to help others resolve their own shit and steer their lives toward the courses they want.
For now, I will thank you for reading this and joining this project with me. Please subscribe, comment and share this blog on your socials. I look forward to baring my soul and sharing my fucked up life with you all. See you soon.